


Conversations Left Unsaid

by koalathebear



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 14:14:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6569407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koalathebear/pseuds/koalathebear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A conversation that never happened between Rae and Finn but should have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conversations Left Unsaid

The baby cooed, her fists flying through the air as she enjoyed the sunlight on her skin. Sitting side by side on the park bench, Finn and Rae were irrationally amused watching the baby in her pram - watching her delight in everything around her, listening to the way she giggled whenever her eyes fell upon them. 

"She's a happy little thing," Finn commented, reaching out his hand and grinning as the baby gripped his fingers hard.

"Good example for the rest of us miserable sods," Rae remarked as Finn leaned back against the park bench.

"Well … you've been looking like the happy one yourself lately," Finn said, nudging her shoulder with a sly grin.

"You tryin' to take credit for that?" she asked him, eyebrows raised high.

"Nah ... ", he denied. "Don't get me wrong. I'd be rapt if you were happy 'cos I was around ... but you have to learn how to be happy even without me, you know?" Rae said nothing and Finn's smile became a little wry and twisted. "That's why you broke up with me the first time, yeah?"

"Yeah,"she admitted soberly. She stared down at the ground, kicking a bit of grass with her shoe. "When it was just you and me … I felt like things could work out for us … but when other people were around …"

"Don't freak out on me again, ok?" he asked her. "If you feel yourself wanting to run … talk to me." When Rae went silent again, he persisted. "I mean it – promise?"

"Yeah. I promise."

Finn stiffened. Across the park, he could see Big G and his mates approaching.

"No, it's all right," Rae told him, putting a hand on his arm to stop him standing up.

"You what?" Finn demanded incredulously but by then Big G was closer, his smile broad.

"She's cute," he remarked, staring down into the pram with great interest. 

"Yeah," Rae agreed.

"Catch you later," he remarked in a friendly fashion as he and his friends continued on their way with no sign of any mockery or hostility.

Finn frowned. "Body snatched?" he asked.

Rae shook her head. "We've come to an understanding …"

"Really?"

"Yeah." Rae's face closed over. Finn recognised that look. 

"None of that," he told her warningly. "Out with it."

"He helped me out when I was in a bad way." Finn remained silent, waiting for her to continue.

"He hit me with his car – "

"The fuck?" Finn demanded explosively.

"As I was on my way to leap off the bridge," she said rapidly and Finn looked at her, aghast.

"Rae …"

"I wasn't thinking straight … everything was messed up … Tix … Chloe … mum … everything was shite … "

"Topping yourself is never a solution," Finn exclaimed.

"I know that," she told him irritably. 

"How many times have you tried killing yourself?"

"Just twice," she mumbled.

"Christ Rae!" Finn exclaimed loudly.

"I know, I know." she told him, holding a hand up. "Sometimes things get really dark … makes me feel like there's no way out."

"Doesn't matter how shite things are, the world's a better place with you in it," Finn muttered. "Please promise me you'll talk to someone ... if not me, but someone if you ever feel like that again …"

"Too many promises," she teased and Finn shook his head.

"I'm fucking serious Rae … I knew you tried to hurt yourself … the scars on your leg .. but it's so important that you stay alive … that you're around."

He fell silent and his jaw was tight, his hands clenched into fists. Rae watched him, wondering if he was finally realising the enormity of her illness, wondering if he was feeling daunted by the huge burden of going out with someone with a mental illness. Perhaps he was rethinking things, debating if it was worth it – if _she_ was worth it.

"You all right?" she questioned warily.

"Not really," he admitted. "I know it's not something that you can just fix … cure with a tablet … an awesome boyfriend." He slanted her a teasing smile as she laughed. "But you've got that Kester guy you told me about … you're learning ways to help you deal …with … stuff …"

His hand went down and rested lightly on the denim of her jeans – over the scars. "Can I meet him?"

"Who?"

"Kester." His dark eyes were very serious.

Rae thought for a moment and shrugged. "If you want to."

"I really want to," he told her and leaned in to press a kiss to the tip of her nose.


End file.
